Friday, December 29, 2006

cuz today, i'm cleaning out my closet

or my mom's closet.

4 or 5 hours, and we only did the front half.

some key findings:
old art portfolios. proof positive that i am an irredeemable pack rat. i found this old gessoed picture of some japanese fish that i HATED. hated making it, hated how it looked, hated that my parents put it up on the wall, told my sister i hated it when she held it up, and STILL had a hard time throwing it away.

a whole box of my sister's old school stuff, cards, etc. two great language arts sentences from her, age 11 (vocab words bolded):
1. Will you probe my case?
2. The Red Sox will vie with the Mets to see who will win the Super Bowl.
also learned from language arts folder: my sister didn't think her name fit her...she would have preferred Joni Marie.

other great finds from my sister's old stuff: a valentine's card from second grade from a "J.J." it was a super cute little kitten that said "you'd be a Purr-fect Valentine" with a hand written addendum "not for me."

also: a card from my grandmother, my father's mother, written after she talked to the two of us on the phone, a long long time ago. she made reference to me saying hello and saying some things "in [my] own language." we also saw on other cards her progression into dementia -- she went from writing long notes in cursive to signing her name in six-year-old scrawl to having my aunt sign for her. she died when i was ten, and wasn't with it for a long time before that, so i don't remember her vibrant, clever, and happy, how she was in this card.

also: several cards from me, including an original valentine poem. the cards were always well chosen like: "sweet...compassionate...caring" (outside) "but enough about my teddy bear! it's YOUR birthday." (inside) when i showed her, she said "yeah, you were always weird."

Friday, December 22, 2006

christmas, duh.

so i've been into this whole conscious-consuming thing for a while now...trying to be responsible about how you spend your money and where your food and clothing comes from. to try to be a 100% conscious consumer is like beating your head against a wall, though. if you buy something that's good for the environment, you might be buying it from a store that doesn't treat its employees well. if you are buying something from a store with good labor practices, you might be supporting advertising that looks creepily like underage porn (see: American Apparel). if you are buying something from a store that has great labor practices, great advertising, great environmental policies, you are either paying through the nose (as with food -- don't get me started on fair trade hot chocolate), or settling for the boring (as with clothes -- plain t-shirts for everyone! all the time!)

anyway, i'm doing my best, but christmas has thrown another wrench in the works.

i kept under my budget of $20 (each) for friends and family, and was even under for most of them, and for many was able to get something i really think they'll appreciate, but there's also an awful lot of buying just to buy, just to have something to wrap. and all my conscious consuming went out the window.

my goal for next year: periodically add to a list of responsible and personal gift ideas, within a budget. anyone want to help me start?

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

conversation between me and my mother

mother turns on QVC

"wouldn't you like that?"
"no, mom."
"a black shoulder bag?"
"no, mom."
"look at all the compartments!"
"no, mom."
"are you sure?"
"mom, repeat after me. i will never..."
"i will never"
"buy anything for my daughter"
"buy anything for my daughter"
"on QVC"
"on QVC"
"Home Shopping Network"
(disgusted look) "i NEVER shop on Home Shopping Network!"

Monday, December 18, 2006

movin' on east

t-minus 4 hours, before i'm on that jet plane and headed for the coast.

so this leaving business does not seem real. i'll be back in january for about 10 days, and then i'll see many people at our denomination's big ministerial conference, so i don't think it's going to REALLY hit me until February, when everyone's in classes and i'm...doing whatever it is i'll be doing.

the thing about being at seminary is that it is like college, but more adult. so you're surrounded by friends (like college) but you live in your own apartment (unlike college, for me at least). and (generally) people are more mature, have had some experiences, are independent. and you can sit around in the lounge at school talking about church and theology and feminism andmaking jokes that only seminarians think are funny, and it's just kind of awesome. but you know from the beginning it's not permanent. i don't really know what i'm saying here. i'm waxing nostalgic. it's like 6:30 in the morning.

also, in January i'm driving the majority of my stuff back. i was planning to pack up most of my clothes to bring home on the plane, but i underestimated the amount of clothes i have, so there is a great deal of clothing left in my apartment. in addition, i'm really worried about the capacity of my little Honda to fit all my stuff (actually, there's no frickin' WAY my Honda will fit all my stuff -- and i don't even have that much). i don't have a trailer hitch either so that's not an option. i just had the brilliant idea that i should have driven a bunch home, flown back in Jan., then rented an SUV to drive back the rest (like, the larger stuff), but too late for that now. maybe i'll leave stuff and exact that plan in may when i have to come back to graduate. or in march maybe i'll fly out for a visit and then drive stuff back.

t minus 3 hours and a half. see you all in boston.

Friday, December 15, 2006

t-minus 3 days (in half an hour that is)

you know it's finals season when i start posting more. it's 11:30, i'm halfway through a paper due at 10 in the morning.

it's that incapability of getting things done early thing. two days ago i stayed up until 4 with a friend writing a paper that i care about far less than this one.

i have nothing else to say. time to check my email.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

t-minus 4 days (or: my weakness for surveys)

1. The phone rings who do you want it to be?
someone who knows how to punctuate properly

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
i'm a nerd like that. if i decide i don't want something i also will never just leave it on a random shelf. i always put it back where it goes.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
if i know people and feel comfortable i talk away. if i don't know people i sit in a corner and think "be less awkward! be less awkward!" but that never usually works.

4. Do you take compliments well?
i'm getting better. i like to explain them away. example:
person: you look nice.
me: i had to totally fight with my hair this morning. i got my pants for five dollars. i'm really wearing a mask. STOP LOOKING AT ME!

5. Are you an active person?:
i'm more passive aggressive.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
define "wilderness." and "survive." and "alone."

7. Do you like to ride horses?
yes. but i don't get to much. my parents wouldn't let me have a horse to keep in the basement, the cheapskates.

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
yeah. 3. loved 2, hated 1.

9.what was you favorite game(s) as a kid?
playing pretend.

10. Are you judgmental?
another thing i'm working on.

11. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
i COULD. i COULD do anything. i don't think i WOULD though. my faith is my life, so that'd be hard.

12. Use three words to describe yourself.
nerd yet hot. =)

13. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?

14. Are you continuing your education?
yes. but i'm almost done.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
um...i have only held a real gun shooting skeet in alaska. i was good at it, for unknown reasons. the people i was with were like "it's cuz you're from the big mean city!" but that's not it. anyway, i hate guns, so even though i have this amazing hidden talent, i probably won't be cultivating it anytime soon.

16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
my computer -- to save pictures, poetry, sermons, music etc.

17. How often do you read books?
all the freakin' TIME.

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
um. um. um. all of them i guess.

19. What is your favorite children's book?
a wrinkle in time. or alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. or on the day you were born. (torgo, do you have that one?)

20. What are you listening to?
janet jackson on

21. How tall are you?
5' 10"

22. Where is your ideal house located?
somewhere where i can walk everyplace i need to go and my friends are close enough to come over all the time.

23. Who are your best friend(s)?
i don't like superlatives. i have plenty of awesome friends.

24. Last person you talked to?
caroline (i'm doing this at work...shhh!)

25. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
only when i stick my head in on other people.

26. When was the last time you ate at Olive Garden?
uh...last semester.

27. What are your keys on your key chain for?
my apartment, my car, my first car (that is in Camden now, but i still have the key), the club my father insists i put on my THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CAR just in case someone says "i feel like stealing a crappy old car today!" also the keys to my parents' house in boston and my research room in the library.

28. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?:
the library

29. Where is your current pain?
i feel pretty good, actually

30. Do you like mustard?
yes. but not as much as mayonnaise.

31. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?:
eat, fo' sure

32. Do you look like your mom or dad?
um, both i think. isn't that how it works? i have my dad's evil eyebrows and crooked teeth and my mom's irrational hair.

33. How long does it take you in the shower?:
10 minutes, or less if i'm in a hurry.

34. Can you do splits?
i can do BANANA splits. heh heh.

35. What movie do you want to see right now?
whale rider. i borrowed it and it's just sitting in my house.

36. Do you put lotion on your dogs or cats?
no, but once my sister squirted her cat with water and she (the cat, not my sister) fell off the counter and fractured her leg. i'm just saying.

37. What did you do for New Year's?
i saved this girl's life! i was out with my friends and we were in the bathroom line and she passed out and i caught her. super xtina!

38. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
i think YOUR FACE is scary.

39. What was the cause of your last accident?
me. running a stop sign into a truck.

40. What are you drinking?
my saliva

41.Was your mom a cheerleader?
no. but she was really sweet

42. What's the last letter of your middle name?

43. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
nobody last time, but i have voted in the past. i can't remember who. the people i vote for never win. my life SUCKS!

44. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?

45. Do you like care bears?
only if they get a nerdy bear.

46. What do you buy at the movies?
i usually sneak in candy. sometimes if i'm feeling special, or if someone else is buying, i'll get some popcorn

47. Do you know how to play poker?
yup. i'm not a good bluffer though. or am i?

48. Do you wear your seatbelt?
yes! everyone should.

49. What do you wear to sleep?
sweatpants or shorts and a t-shirt or tank top usually.

50. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
dude, i'm from boston. c'mon. ever heard of paul revere? john hancock? sam adams? yeah.

51. How many meals do you eat a day?
at least 3. i try to be disciplined about my food.

52. What do you think says the most about a person on their myspace page?
people's comments about them.

53. Ever been to LA?

54. Did you eat a cookie today?
not yet.

55. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
i don't swear at all.

56. Do you steal or pay for your music downlownds?
pay of course. ethics, my friends!

57. Do you hate chocolate?
i LOVE chocolate.

58. What do you and your parents fight about the most?

59. Are you a gullible person?
i pretend i'm not but i totally am.

60. Do you need a boyfriend to be happy?
gosh, i hope not.

61. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
a broadway star.

62. Are you easy to get along with?
pretty much.

63. What is your favorite time of day?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

t-minus 5 days

monday night the seminary had a christmas party with a gingerbread house contest and we (a team of my roomate, my friend and i) won an honorable mention for "house best representing today's culture." we built a lost themed house.

(it's actually eko's church, had it been completed before the black smoke got to him.)

the rear view

the polar bear cave (note one of the polar bears is dead)

tree (with coconuts)

fire, Jin's net/the raft, whichever way your imagination takes you.

what Bernard was trying to do, and could have succeeded at, if he didn't get so pissy.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

the last days.

warning: all posts for the next week or so will probably be overly sentimental and nostalgic.

so, over the next week i will be attending my last classes in seminary EVER.

(until my doctorate, of course)

transition is always bittersweet for me -- saying goodbye, resettling myself. i'm not great at goodbyes, because i'm not great at telling people how i feel about them. it's strange, if i offer to give someone a long hug, i probably won't miss them that much, but if i try to run away with a quick, tight, smile and a short nod and they have to tackle me to say a proper goodbye, i am going to miss them more than i want to admit. (this isn't always a definitive rule of thumb, but it is true that the more someone means to me the harder it is for me to express it...How to Cure Emotional Stuntedness is not one of the courses my seminary offers).

anyway, in addition to my own processing, people keep coming up and going, "one more week, aren't you SAD?"

Friday, December 08, 2006

a resolution on pedestrians when it is very cold (or, an ode to foster ave.)

(after joe s.)

WHEREAS, it is right now approx. 3 degrees or less in Chicago, with a wind chill factor of exactly a lot, making it, shall we say, FUH-REEZING.

WHEREAS, my coat looks like a sleeping bag but is still only a coat and therefore not heated.

WHEREAS, if you are in a car, you are first, protected from the wind, and second, most likely heated. it follows that you are therefore warmer than me or any other pedestrian.

WHEREAS, i'm in the crosswalk, fergoshsakes. i'm being a good citizen!

WHEREAS, you have a red light so you will have to stop soon anyway. even if you have a green light, nowhere you have to go is that important.

MAY IT HITHERTOFORENOWSOTHERE BE RESOLVED, that when i am standing and shivering on the side of the road, you should let me cross, not drive past me. please?

Sunday, December 03, 2006

more fun with tunes.

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

NO CHEATING...(i only cheated once, to skip a song i hadn't even put on my computer)

What does next year have in store for me?
are you that somebody? --aaliyah

What does your love life look like?
stop in the name of love --the supremes

What do I say when life gets hard?
i'm on my way --proclaimers

What do I think when I get up in the morning?
she --the monkees

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
love overflowing --sandtown children's choir

What do you want as a career?
dance --nas (well, that's appropriate)

Your favorite saying
black or white --michael jackson

Favorite place?
brown eyed girl --van morrison

What do you think of your parents?
mary, mary --monkees (hey, mary's my mom's real first name! kooky!)

Where would you go on a first date?
better man --pearl jam (heh.)

Drug of choice?
the locomotion --little eva

Describe yourself:
prolouge (little shop of horrors) --from the musical (obviously. and i think i take offense at this)

What is the thing I like doing most?
crazy --gnarls barkley

The song that best describes the president?
man in the mirror --michael jackson (let's pause for a moment and consider the implications of this)

What is my state of mind like at the moment?
this is my world --hootie & the blowfish

How will I die?
can't give up now --mary mary

The song you'll put as the subject?
part of me --sandtown children's choir